Wu-Tang Clan Revealed Genealogical Report

Wu-Tan Clan Ain't Nuthin Ta Fack Wit.  All Of Them.  Dis-Cog.  Serious.

Wu-Tang does it again.  Again and again.  The Onion takes a stab at the mythical Wu-Tang Clan and attempts to create a family tree and in the process, researchers Robert Wilburn and Charles Tinsley, identified and catalogued nearly 300 decendants of the Wu-Tang Clan.

"It was an immense project," said Tinsley, who coauthored the 450-page genealogical report. "For instance, it took us months to conclude that Ol' Dirty Bastard, Dirt McGirt, Big Baby Jesus, Osirus, Dirt Dog, and Peanut the Kidnapper were all the same person."

Tinsley further elaborates on the Clan's Shaolin methods, questioning his own manhood:

"While the Clan is generally associated with tales of conquest, slaughter, and 'bringing da motherfuckin' ruckus,' it must also be noted that its members were prolific lovers who expanded the empire by sowing their seed all across the country," Tinsley said. "Who knows, perhaps my very own children are direct descendants of Ghostface Killah."

Have they uncovered all of the Wu-Tang's truths?  Not according to Tinsley:

Tinsley was quick to note, however, that the total number of Wu-Tang descendants was impossible to calculate, and could very well reach into the tens of thousands.

"Many believe that the location of the original 36 Chambers is buried somewhere beneath what today is the Staten Island Mall," Wilburn continued. "Unfortunately, unless that T.J. Maxx shuts down, and the mall's food court goes out of business, we may never know the truth."

"Still, one thing remains certain," Wilburn added. "The Wu-Tang Clan was nothing to fuck with."

Classic.  Go to The Onion for the full story.

BOXING DAY - HUGE 2 ROOM PARTY with HEDSPIN, JASON LEV, RICO UNO, SYNAPSE (Frank 151 / NYC) @ SHINE

Get Up Get Down - The Remix
Fridays @ Shine
364 Water St
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NEEDLE KINEVAL and TIGERSTONE presents:

HUGE 2 ROOM BOXING DAY MADNESS PARTY
4 INCREDIBLE DJs - 2 MCs

FRONT ROOM: 
HEDSPIN (Eh! Team) vs RICO UNO (Freshest Kids / Rockers NYC) vs SYNAPSE (NYC / Frank 151)

EMOTIONZ (Fresh Coast) vs J PEOPLES (Get Up Get Down) on the mic

BACK ROOM: 
JASON LEV (Sound Of Gold)

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4 incredible DJs, 4 incredible styles, 4 talents, and 4 dancefloor minded DJs = booty shaking, hands up, hands down, hand claps, singalong, wall banging, wildin, dancefloor grinding, disco dancing, body moving, non stop wall to wall madness!

This is going to be the CRAZIEST BOXING DAY PARTY with a supreme line up of DJs. This might as well be the end of the year party cause it's gonna be a party to end all parties in 2008! The last FRIDAY of the year!

DJs:
- Hedspin is fackin BACK!
- Rico Uno KILLS the party and OWNS the room every Friday @ Shine!
- Synapse is coming from NYC repping Frank 151!
- Jason Lev is fackin BACK!

MCs:
- Emotionz rips the mic!
- J Peoples brings the hype!

It's on!  TONIGHT @ SHINE!!

How'd I Make It To The Party 6 Months Late?

PPP ft Karma Stewart - On A Cloud | l/i/m/e/l/i/n/x | z/s/h/a/r/e

A few months (yes months - probably summertime) back I saw this video:

Ok, turns out I've been hella confused for months. Ever since I saw that video (above) in summer I thought Wajeed and Saadiq were deading PPP and starting a new band called "Abundance" with a nu-soul singer as lead and a new third member. So I've been telling people about Abundance but I was hella misinformed about PPP, "Abundance", and "On A Cloud" - the song they talk about in the video. Let's get it straight together.

"Abundance" is PPP's newest album due out in Jan 2009. "On A Cloud" is a song on that album featuring Karma Stewart on vocals. So, PPP is not dead and "On A Cloud" is the lead single which, incidently, has been out and available since early July. Where have I been for the past 6 months?? Seems like I've been puffin on my own cloud.

Now I find out Karma Stewart is featured prominently on "Abundance" and has just released her own EP today, which has been graciously made available as a free download. Karma hails from Austin, Texas (by way of Germany) but now resides in L.A. making the migration in order to be in the studio with PPP producers Wajeed and Saadiq and newest addition singer/songwriter Coultrain.

I'ma let Karma let loose in her own words:

Can you give us a quick rundown of how all the songs came to be [on the 4 track EP]?

Coultrain had written “Withdrawal” and “Waiting In The Wings” prior to me starting to put in work for The Karma EP. When I heard those 2 songs I was like “Whoa!!” He’s such a prolific writer; I was more than honored to be the voice behind the genius of his lyrics, ya know?

Shortly after, Saadiq sent me a couple of tracks that he had produced and there was one in particular that stood out to me. I had told Saadiq that i wanted some straight up funky Vanity 6 meets Prince like track. And thats exactly what he did!! Lol…

So I sent it to Coultrain and he reached into the depths of his funky soul and wrote the song “Look” which was inspired by the late Rick James. It’s actually one of my favorite songs on the EP.

Last but not least, I wrote the song “Love Games” which was produced by Waajeed (and is also one of my faves). This track is so sick I told Waajeed I had to have it!! Through listening to it, the first thing that popped into my head was “Sweet Dreams” by The Eurythmics. From that inspiration, “Love Games” was created and it was a done deal! I’m very happy with how it turned out. [source]

I slept so hard on this one, but I got it straight now. Bringing that Motown and Detroit sound back to its roots, "On A Cloud" is one of the freshest tracks of 2008! Serious.

Related:

Karma Stewart - EP (free download)

Karma Stewart Myspace

PPP Myspace

ARE YOU READY TO GET UP GET DOWN THIS FRIDAY with COSMO BAKER (The Rub / Brooklyn)!!!??!??!!!

GET UP GET DOWN presents:
THIS FRIDAY - DEC 19th
COSMO BAKER (The Rub / Brooklyn)
SHINE
364 Water St
Vancouver, BC

with resident DJs
Rico Uno (Freshest Kids / Rockers NYC)
U-Tern (One Day Later / Beatstreet)

MCs
J Peoples and Emotionz on the mic

and JUST ADDED:
DJ Pump (Eh! Team / Calgary)
Nina Mendoza (Dipt / Dose)
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We've been waiting for months on this one!! It's finally here!!!! School's ALL OVER, Christmas holidays ARE HERE, it's time to GET UP GET DOWN and get funky and celebrate with THE BEST CHRISTMAS party with the BEST DJs in the world. This ain't no joke, read the updated bio below to read what your favourite DJ had to say about Cosmo Baker.

As if that weren't enough we got heavyweights Rico Uno, U-Tern, Emotionz, J Peoples, Nina Mendoza and just added DJ Pump!! Wowza.

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COSMO BAKER is THE MAN
- here are some DJ mixes, mp3s, videos, audio

COSMO BAKER - LIVE IN L.A. (youtube video)

COSMO BAKER - MORE LIVE IN L.A. (youtube video)

COSMO BAKER - THE FULL DJ SET - LIVE IN L.A. AT THE DO-OVER (z/s/h/r/e link)

THE RUB - HISTORY OF HIP HOP - 1993
- this is my favourite year in hip hop history and THE RUB SMASH this mix

http://www.itstherub.com/radio.htm
- THE RUB - HISTORY OF HIP HOP - from 1979-1999
- a year by year DJ mix of the biggest and best songs from each year in hip hop history
- this is some serious epic shit
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HUGE PRAISE for COSMO BAKER from the likes of:
A-TRAK
JAZZY JEFF
ELI ESCOBAR
MR SUPREME
RJD2
?UESTLOVE
DIPLO
DJ AM
DJ MONK ONE
TITTSWORTH
NICK CATCHDUBS
DAVE NADA
SCOTTIE B
DJ DAY

Do you see any of your favs up there? See what they all had to say about Cosmo below or go to the event page for the updated bio:

"Cosmo Baker is hands down one of my favorite DJs. very few dudes can read a crowd like Cosmo, first of all. My man can rock it in so many ways, and he continues to surprise me. Cosmo lives and breathes music and his knowledge runs deep!! He's a virtual librarian of music. After all this is the man who invented the category "Dad Rock." But more than anything Cosmo's a party rocker. And a close friend. Rock on, Cosmo." -DJ A-Trak

"When it comes to keeping the Philly Music tradition going...Cosmo has it locked. His knowledge is incredible and his Crates are deep and his passion and skills makes him one of my favs." - DJ Jazzy Jeff

"Cosmo is everything I think a great DJ should be; versatile, skilled and before anything else, a true tastemaker." - DJ Eli Escobar

"100% pure no gimmicks" - DJ Mr. Supreme

"Cosmo is the club DJ I aspire to be - smooth, seamless, on top of his game, knows exactly what's appropriate at any given time. He'll play the song that I'm totally sure could not be resurrected, and bam - gangbusters. He's definitely that guy." - RJD2

"Cosmo Cosmo Cosmo. I remember when Cosmo got his first mixer and started DJing back in 92. Little did I know that little runt would constantly keep me on my a game like no other cat I know. He is always dropping that "this-ain't-out-yet" game on us and I'm always dropping that "Cell-phone memo-note-to-cop-that-'This-ain't-out-yet'" jam he played. When I grow up, I wanna be like 'Mo." - ?uestlove

"I would sneak into Fluid when I was still under 21 to see Cosmo play at the legendary Remedy, his parties were part of my foundation in Philly. The dude has a sixth sense at turnin' a crowd out." - Diplo

"Cos is a Philly native with more flavor than a pack of Now N' Laters. This flavor comes in handy when he's deciding what tunes you're gonna hear for a few hours!" - DJ AM

"Cosmo’s a rare cat. There aren’t many who can impress me with a funk 45s set, turn around and destroy a rave packed with barely legal hipsters, then pull out a disco twelve-inch that I’d all but forgotten about—and still be one of my favorite faces to see over a pint of beer." - DJ Monk One

"I'm proud to say that I have looked up to Cosmo Baker for years... as far as musical knowledge, party-rockin' and being an all around amazing dude, there is no substitute!" - Tittsworth

"In the biggest DJ city in the world, where every single one of your friends, neighbors and co-workers is spinning a party on any given night of the week, I still go out of my way to check Cosmo Baker play whenever I can. His style never fails to surprise and inspire in fresh ways." - Nick Catchdubs

"Cosmo Baker is a major influence in my musical career. I put him right up there with heroes like James Brown, Afrika Bambaataa, and Masters At Work. He's not a DJ. He's an artist. A soul man." - Dave Nada

"First things first - Where's Cosmo playing tonight? And that's real!!!" - Scottie B

"Everything Cosmo does is straight from the heart." - DJ Day

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more info:

http://needlekineval.blogspot.com/
http://tigerstone.tv/
http://shinenightclub.com/

http://cosmobaker.com/
http://itstherub.com/

Afro-Rico - Original Sample To "Ferg_a_li_c_ious"

Afro-Ri_can_ - Give I_t All Y(o) Got (Doggy Style) | z/s/h/a/r/e

This is some serious OG shit.  I could never find this on vinyl and the best I could get to having this was on a blue-ish green label 95-99 Megamix (I think that's what it was called) which was a classic 17 minute megamix of Miami Bass.  It had this little snippet where Afro-Rican dropped but it was such a jerk to find quickly while in the mix (it sat in the middle of the megamix).  Now it's all here - the OG to the Fer-ga_lic_ious track you all love...to hate.  LOL.  I hate that track too so we`re still friends.

A Letter To Common

C-to-the-double-M-O-N - Un_i_versal M_!_nd Control (Planet Rock Remix) | z/s/h/a/r/e
Bonus: C-to-the-double-M-O-N ft Chest_er Fren_ch - What A Wo_rld | z/s/h/a/r/e

Common dropped his newest album "Universal Mind Control" recently and I came across this and I HAD to re-post it.  Here's one opinion on Common's new album:

Dear Mr. Sense:

First of all, I would like to congratulate you on releasing your new album, “Resurrection.” I don’t want to spoil anything for you because I’m writing from the future in the year 2024 but we will still talking about that album thirty years from now. In fact, that album is so good, you will be eating off the reputation that album garnered for you for the rest of your life and plenty of people will excuse a lot of questionable material you will be releasing in the near future because of how great songs like “Communism” are. I mean people will be frontin’ on “I Used To Love H.E.R.” like that song wasn’t the fucking shit in 1994 but those people like Shawty Lo records so fuck ‘em. I’m sorry you don’t know who Shawty Lo is yet, do you? He was part of this ass awful group called D4L in the mid ‘00s and beefed with T.I. for a little while over whether or not they actually grew up in this backwater town called Bankhead like anybody gives a flying fornication. I know, it will be as retarded as it sounds. Oh, yeah, that’s right you haven’t met T.I., either. You’ll be playing his father in a film called “American Gangster” in about 12 years so don’t sweat it. I know, it’ll be creepy. Actually, just forget it. All in due time.

Anyway, the reason that I’m writing you today is because I’m compelled to warn you as a fan of yours about the upcoming disaster that will be your future album called “Universal Mind Control” in the year 2008. It’s imperative that you do not make this album. The entire fabric of existence depends on it. “Universal Mind Control” isn’t just bad. It’s legendarily bad. It’s “This is album is so bad it negates the existence of God bad. Like I mean there can’t possibly be a supreme being if he allowed a travesty like this to occur” bad. There’s absolutely nothing salvageable about this album. You need to stop this before it occurs. I’m begging you. Wars started in foreign countries over this album when it was released. You ever see the movie, Scanners? At least, sixty people had their heads spontaneously explode attempting to listen to this album. Please, I beg of you. Do not attempt.

Listen, in the future you will meet a man by the name of Pharrell. He’s this goofy ass skinny dude who wears all types of hideously gaudy clothes, he sings in this hyper annoying falsetto and he’ll have this Asian guy (which nobody can seem to figure out actually does for a living...) follow him around all the time . He’ll try to seduce you by jetting you around the globe in his private plane, have you cavorting with models, and introduce you to a short, motor mouthed actor with an immaculate hairpiece that will soon become you’re best friend. You need to kill him upon meeting him. Despite the fact the man has only about a dozen, truly great songs to his name, he will have garnered a ridiculous amount of unwarranted acclaim and will offer to produce your latest album for you. You must resist. The beats on “Universal Mind Control” are truly hideous and are bad even by his standards. It sounds like this weird amalgamation of Baltimore Club Music, Danger Mouse, and Just Blaze’s worst, most ostentatious impulses in a way that completely fails and causes one to question the creator’s influences. The first time I heard the title track, I was convinced I was listening to an ill-conceived Girl Talk (as if there was anything else) mash-up of some bad Bmore Club and a drunken freestyle that No I.D. dared you to record while drinking orange pineapple juice laced with vodka. And that’s only the opening record! It only gets worse from there. I’m talking records that inexplicably bite Biggie’s flow in a sub-Guerilla Black manner; records that reference Gladiator (and are actually called “Gladiator”) as if “What More Can I Say” didn’t happen; and there’s actually a record called “Sex 4 Sugar. Completely without irony.

And as a bad as Pharrell is on the album, the problem is primarily you. In approximately the year 2005, after doing one too many advertisements for the Gap, the soft feel of their 100% cotton sweaters will cause you to completely lose your ability to rap but instead of doing the sensible thing and completely retire from rap as if you were Mos Def, you will continue to force yourself on the listening public. You will embarrass yourself on this record. Badly. There are songs on this record where there will be no semblance of flow and rhythm on your part. This wouldn’t necessarily be bad if you weren’t rapping about some generic, cookie cutter version of universal love or some hippie bullshit but you are. This album is the audio equivalent of talking to some douchebag named Moonbeam for an hour while he trips on acid and forces you to go to a rave. It ain’t pretty.

“Universal Mind Control” must not happen, Common. You have the power to stop it. You must resist all impulses in the future to do anything that doesn’t sound like “Thisisme,” It will hurt because you will feel that you are better than hip hop but you are not. You are definitely not. Trust me. Lives were lost because of this. This album was directly responsible for the Supreme Court from negating the results from 2008 Presidential Election and ushering in a third Bush term which lead to the death of democracy in America. Lives depend it on, Lonnie. You can change it. Don’t make this album.

Sincerely,

The Good Doctor Zeus

P.S. You should also probably drop the “Sense” part of your name. You’ll thank me later.

P.P.S. In the future, you will meet a woman by the name of Erkyah. This will be in your future.

Awesome - Lots of LOLZ in that one.  Thoughts?

Santigold aka Santi White <3

J@y-(Z_ ft Sant#g#ld - Bro)o(lyn (Go Hard) | z/s/h/a/r/e
Bonus: Sant#g#ld - Shove It (Switch remix) | z/s/h/a/r/e
And 1: Sant#g#ld - I'm A Lady (Diplo mix ft Amanda Blank) | z/s/h/a/r/e
Overtime: Sant#go#ld, Ph@rr#ll, Jul!an - My Drive Thru | z/s/h/a/r/e

This ain't about the Jigga man. This is all about Santogold aka Santi White aka Santi. Heart.

Apparently this is new shit from the "Notorious" movie and while it's alright it doesn't quite move me the way Shove It (Switch remix) does it. Shove It is where the "Brooklyn, Go Hard" vocal sample comes from and it's the first song that put me onto the heat that is Santogold. Santi White popped up on GZA's "Legend Of The Liquid Sword" from 2002 and helped pen GZA's "Beneath The Surface" as well as a majority of Res' album but didn't really catch her stride til last/this year. Coldplay tapped her to open their recent tour, Santogold appeared on the latest Converse ad campaign recording a song (which she steals by the way) with Julian Casablancas (Strokes) and Pharrell Williams (N.E.R.D.), and she put out one of the best albums of this year. If that wasn't enough she teamed up with the people's champ Diplo for "Top Ranking" a mixtape in the same weight and vein as Diplo's collabo with M.I.A.'s "Piracy Funds Terrorism".

"I'm A Lady (Diplo Mix)" comes from "Top Ranking" and it utilizies the same sample as LL Cool J's "I Need Love". Amanda Blank is heat as well - she'll get her own post later on. Heart her too. But Santi makes an appearance with Jay-Z and also is featured on Common's new album. Go Santogold.

I'm a fan. Seems I'm not the only fan, and rightly so - are u a fan yet?